Female Friends

Yesterday I had brunch with my friends and I am reminded that female friends are absolutely essential to ground you in this world. Both of them are what I call "zero energy friends," which means I expend no extra energy on trying to monitor how mouthy or embarassing or silly I am and just sigh with relief because I know my entire self is accepted. This kind of friendship is so incredibly rare but so wonderful because it energizes rather than takes away.

When I was younger I was DEFINITELY what we would now term as a "pick me girl." I was not like other girls, so I was obviously way cooler. All my friends were dudes because they weren't as complicated or catty. That or I just had a shitload of internalized misogyny to work through, who could say.

Now I realize that kind of patriarchal bullshit is so damaging both for men and women. The community and support we receive from others with similar experiences can't be discounted. There's so many things me and my girls never really talked about until we were in our FORTIES. Before that it just wasn't spoken about.

Topics include:

• Anything having to do with our own bodies

• Sex and pleasure

• Positive models for self-body image

• Changing hormones (heeyyyy perimenopause)

• What it feels like to lose a baby

• The mental fucking load

  
  

I feel like my life could have been lived very differently if I'd been introduced to warmth and community that could discuss these things without judgment.

Women loving women is my current hyperfocus. Just in time for witchy fall antics. I'll let you know if me and my ladies get up to any mischief.